Monday, November 2, 2015

You're taller than me...happy now?

I have the BEST friends/family/readers in the world.  I really do.  Thank you for the tons of messages offering condolences for my recent rejection by my now ex boyfriend, Harley Quinn.  Several of you who've read the manuscript made a similar observation that got me to thinking...

"Elle, maybe you were rejected because your stuff is too gritty and real."

HMMPH.  Psssh. Nah, huh?  Really? Damn.
Okay, okay, don’t worry, I definitely didn’t invite you to my blog so I can cry about  the rejection. I mean, that’s not even news, is it? A writer sends something to a fancy publisher and they send it back. Thanks but no thanks. Happens every day, why get all worked up over it?

But we do get worked up. Why?

It kind of reminds me of when people go swimming in the ocean and they get all upset when one of them get swallowed by a shark. "Hey, what’s that shark doing in Florida?" Or, when hikers attempt to enjoy their Sunday on a mountain and then get pissy when a rattlesnake crosses their path. "Don’t they know this is a designated hiking area? The signs are posted everywhere!"

I don’t get it. Let me tell you this about romance. It’s not a fairytale. Fairytales were written the way they were and then given the label of fairytale. Translation; it shouldn’t be believed.

Folks, the real heroes in life snore, shout, work hard and get dirty, burp, and itch themselves. They stand up to you when you’re being a brat, and aren’t afraid to leave you at home for the weekend while they go fishing.

"But Elle…"

"NO,  I'm serous, no buts."

<--I don't know who made this, but I love it, thank you.


Life will never be sunshine and puppies all the time. Life is messy, it’s hard, its gets a kick out of raining on your event that you planned all year, even when you live in one of the driest climates on the planet. That’s what life does.

Do you want a real romance? Then know right now in my books, it's going to be messy as hell. Understand what you’re getting into. If the dude is gorgeous, says everything you want to hear, and in general never challenges a damn thing you say, then RUN sister. RUN as fast as you can to the nearest Disney store because an Elle Marlow Knight in Shining Armor might show up on his white horse except,that horse is probably crapping in your yard, you just don’t see it because you’re too busy looking into Dreamy’s eyes.  I'll tell you about it and then we will work together to appreciate the fragrance of horse shit.
So my point is, if you’re looking for a fairytale, don’t read an Elle Marlow book. They suck. They are too gritty and real. The men have been known to drink too much, snore, throw things, go fishing, forget holidays. They also love passionately and with everything they have, and are likely to give you the shirt off their backeven though that shirt might be covered in concrete dust or dirt from being at work all day.


So, to recap; Don’t go swimming in the ocean if you don’t want to see a shark, don’t go frolicking in the desert if you’re afraid of snakes and DON’T buy one of my books if you’re looking for a fairy tale.   

Ah, I feel so much better now.  And sure, I'll sub to a big dog again someday.  But for now that manuscript is being worked over and will be on Amazon very soon.  All gritty and...stuff.    Until next time, Elle. 

1 comment:

  1. I know that Harley Quinn guy! They like alpha males that mess around but apparently aren't messy...or something like that. I like gritty and real, that's the way life works anyway and congratulations on your decision to self-publish it! I'll definitely buy myself a copy!

    ReplyDelete

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